BMX Ninja (1988)
This game is part of the subgenre I like to call Ninja Leisure Time. here we find that when they ’ rhenium not busy ninjing people to end, they ’ rhenium BMXing and pulling gnarled tricks. It ’ second one of those games that was released at the buttocks end of both the ninja smash and the budget bet on boom and I get the stamp that no one very put much campaign in. The plot involves a BMX ninja called Pookie ( solid ninja name mighty there ) who is set upon by a equal bicycle gang called the Diamondbacks. They ’ ra led by a ridicule who looks like a 1940s Chicago gangster ( for Reasons ) and Pookie is told that he must “ outlive ampere long as potential ” while being set upon by skateboarders, “ ninja skooters ” and rocks that are thrown at him from offscreen. This international relations and security network ’ t a huge challenge. If Pookie touches anyone with his back wheel while spinning his bicycle, they immediately dissolve into the pavement… possibly that counts as a special ninja skill ?
To make it super-cringe, the direction booklet tells you “ If you fail in your tax, you will not merely lose your title, you will lose your girlfriend – who wants to be seen with a loser anyhow ? ” which is harsh. That said, it does promise that she “ will give you the ultimate reward ” if you complete “ a sealed number ” of levels, adding coyly “ we ’ re not telling you what it is, so find out for yourself if you can ”. sadly, BMX Ninja ’ randomness endless, repetitive gameplay, eye-searing backgrounds and strong possibility that the “ certain number ” is well over a million means that I ’ ve never found out what her ultimate wages is. Have you ? Let us know in the comments below if you have .
She spends the game in the sidebar and occasionally takes off an item of clothe so I ’ megabyte going to take a guess here that the “ ultimate wages ” is a crudely-rendered naked womanhood. Which just makes this game all kinds of ohio dearly .
Ninja Scooter Simulator (1988)
possibly the most random of all the Ninja Leisure Time cash-ins, Ninja Scooter Simulator allows us to truly experience ninja dart in a way that no bet on ahead or since has done. I wonder why that is, eh ? The instructions say you can “ Whizz through the night on your dream water scooter and pull some rad Ninja stunts ! ” adding “ you ’ ve got to beat the clock to beat the rest so wear ’ deoxythymidine monophosphate hang around ! ” and the affirmation that “ Ninja Scooter ’ s the best ! ”
In reality, this budget game was intelligibly programmed as something unlike and renamed before dismissal. If you take the word ‘ ninja ’ out of those sentences, you lose nothing relevant. The game is nothing more than an affable Metro-Cross clone in which a Fred Durst lookalike on a scooter races against time to reach the end of a side-scrolling obstacle course. I think Metro-Cross is one of the greatest games always sol Ninja Scooter Simulator is still quite a playfulness thing to play, but shame on them for both ripping off another game and cheat eager ninja fans out of £1.99 .
however, this does gain some points for outlandishness. You start out being chased by the patrol ( which screen of makes feel ) but by the by and by levels they ’ re replaced by giant floating skulls. I guess the programmers got blase and assumed no one would care if they fair started throwing in whatever they fancied ? And they were right. Kind of a severe game but besides a guilty pleasure. And that cover artwork ? Iconic tbh .